Furniture

I blew up at my family tonight.  My limit had been reached and then some.  A chair and love seat I have had for only 2 months.  The first new furniture ever.  Someone upended a glass of orange juice on it.  Was going to peripherally clean and call it good.  I had a snit.  I cleaned the love seat.  The floor and the wall.  Pretty much talking loudly (very) the entire time.  I couldn't seem to get it through to them the importance to me.  Something I could call only mine.  Never before owned by anyone else.  Not bought at auction or garage sale or given out of kindness because something was breaking down.  Brand new.  I bought it with money left to me from my father's estate.  A last gift. 

It is only stuff.  I know that.  The snit was overreacting to a minor thing in the cosmos.  But no one seemed to really understand.  Hell, I don't know that I understand!

So I have to take the obligatory step back and see what was really going on.  The wussy liberal, understanding side of me. 

I have really enjoyed sitting in my front room on my new furniture the last 2 months.  Looking at colors that make me feel good.  A silent peace.  The orange juice or milk or whatever shouldn't take on the importance that it has.  The peace should still be there.  It will take a while to get it back.  Mostly because I don't understand how I lost it so completely.
It is just stuff.  Only furniture.  They didn't mean to....
Sigh.  I am tired.