Death and Parenting

So today I accompanied my oldest daughter, her son, her significant other and my second oldest daughter to a lunch/memorial service/something I still don't know what to call. The deceased in question was the 19 year old brother of my oldest's daughter's best friend. Died by shooting himself.
Yeah. That is indeed a tough one. The "lunch" was awkward but ok. The event at the cemetary... Well, let's just say, to be kind, was different. One brother could not come into the county where the lunch was held due to outstanding warrents for his arrest. The other brother only just started speaking again after learning of Izaak's death several weeks ago. The sister is trying to hold it together, we just don't know for how long. Mom was there because she wanted to get on with life having long ago given up trying to parent the oldest 3.
The cemetary had young 20 somethings and late teen somethings showing up and drinking to get drunk or had already become so. The brother absent at lunch, was there. Drunk with alot to say. Idolizing his younger brother for dying like a rock star. The mother left. The grandparents left. The aunt and uncle left as did some cousins. One grandmother knew what would happen and offered health concerns as a reason to not be there at all. No closure, no hope, no anything.
I pulled my crew away early on. The significant other said he felt as though the others were being disrespectful to the place, occasion and those who were already dead.
I had to agree.
I had to make my daughter understand the need for hope. Now, I am not going to get all religious here. Not necessarily my style. But there has to be hope. Things, whatever they are, will get better. Unfortunately, for this family, I can't say they will be any time soon. The dynamics are not good and have never been for as long as I can remember.
So again, somewhere, somehow, I have to interject hope.
So again, tomorrow, I will cook. Sounds funky, but that is what I will do. We feed the living, we love the living, we go on. God will go with us. God will feed us. We just have to do the work.